From Cloudfire and a Bowl of Kauri Leaves. Because I haven't posted a poem in bit. All the same rules apply: feedback, etc.
* * * *
Hokianga: February-March 2000
crimson-honey sky
across the Hokianga*
crimson-honey tide
but no waka to pierce
the bay’s narrow hips
*
crimson-honey sand
across the Hokianga
crimson-honey sky
but only one cumulus
to lick the bay’s narrow tongue
*
crimson-honey night
across the Hokianga
two harvest moons
walk empty shores
lap cups of crimson-honey tea
* * * *
*If you enlarge that map, you'll see Opononi and Omapere near the coastal edge of the harbor. The flat I lived in was---probably still is---somewhere between the two towns.
Gorgeous and sensual in all the right ways, as always.
ReplyDeleteBut I wished for full patterning across the stanzas, something like "but only one moon..." in the third stanza, or even, "and two moons...." I wanted that third conjunction.
.
ReplyDeleteThis could be expanded into a beautiful picture book.
Duly noted, Luisa. I agree and have stripped the final stanza of both moons, like so:
ReplyDeletecrimson honey night
across the Hokianga
but no moon
to pace/walk empty shores
lap/sip crimson honey tea
Further suggestions re: word choice?
Well, I prefer "walk" and "sip."
ReplyDeleteAnd Th. is right: this would make a stunning picture book--a perfect bedtime read-aloud. You should get right on that.
Isn't he always, though?
ReplyDeleteMaybe someday it will happen...