Here's another from Browns and Rusts. I'm unsure how it reads outside of my head. Feedcrack welcome.
For the Sycamore
(On Zaccheus)
She’s always been the narrative crux,
her branches grown thick
as his presence in Luke, raising
his faith so he can anoint God’s head
with his sweat, her shadow pinned tight
to the Teller’s canopied bosom of words.
She’s no different here in her browns
and rusts, peering down the blouse
of my soul from the artist’s throng,
playing my gaze through the spaces
between her sprawling geography.
She frames her fruit well on that throne
of a branch where he sits mid-startle
against the plot twist, holding his perch
to keep from falling too hard
on his faith. Yet the centuries
nearest her act, the children of the children
of the child nearest the viewing pane—
see how she tilts her head toward the throng,
mouth wide; tries to suckle
from the tale—forget; even Zaccheus
moves on after Christ points him out, calls him
down, invites himself over for tea
with the publican and his family.
But Christ’s finger reaches
beyond his words, beyond pigment, beyond
the curving branch of the sycamore
he touches at last. Always
to the Garden. To the serpent. And
Eve, knowledge dripping from her lips
like juice pressed from a thousand figs
as Adam walked in from the cool of day
and she reached to fit his waist
with the apron
she’d learned to make from her Mom.
The poem:
ReplyDeleteI should probably gather some more synonyms for "lovely," or my comments on your poetry will all start to sound the same.
And I should mention that I'm very picky about any poetry written post-Eliot. But I love yours.
I love the parallel you've drawn between Christ calling to Zacchaeus and God calling to Eve. And the last line slays me with its gorgeousness and insight.
The tree:
I have a thing for sycamores. (See, if you like, #100 here: http://kashkawan.squarespace.com/novembrance/2007/6/4/centipost.html) There is one near our house, and the stark white of its branches beg for portraiture by someone like Ansel Adams.
The artist:
So, um, like, do you KNOW J. Kirk Richards? Because I'm a huge fan. I bought a print of a portrait of Christ that he did for my husband's birthday last year; we had it gorgeously framed, and it now hangs in his office at the church.
The framer, a wonderfully literate and hilarious cultural Jew, loved the picture. She said, "I don't usually like paintings of Jesus. But this guy? I'd hang with him." That was high praise, indeed.
"knowledge dripping from her lips
ReplyDeletelike the juice from a thousand figs"
Have you ever eaten a fresh fig? Juice does not drip from them like a ripe peach. When I tasted fresh figs, I thought they reminded me a lot of biting into a cream-filled candy because the middle was so...mmmmmmmmm... yummy.. only mildly sweet, but..I loved the texture. But they don't drip.
Otherwise, I think your poem has some very interesting imagery, and pulls together some very diverse experiences. I find your phrasing full of surprises. But I must be honest that I often am not sure just what kind of dominant impression or thought you are trying to produce. But I can be dense sometimes.
Gorgeous. My eloquence ends there, I'm afraid. I don't have Luisa's talent for review. But I read your poem and to me it's beautiful.
ReplyDelete(But, as someone who spent a great deal of her youth in Jerusalem, and has therefore eaten more than her fair share of figs, I have to agree with Michaela that figs don't drip. I SO wish they did, because I love the way you said this...)
Did I mention that your poem is gorgeous?
Well, Luisa, I'm flattered you "love" my post-Eliot poetry. I've been reading Four Quartets for the first time (though I've read much of his other work before), letting the ideas and the language simmer in my mind. He's definitely been an influence on my writing, so to have myself connected with him (even so loosely as you've done) is, well, an ego boost.
ReplyDeleteAnd the artist:
I don't know JKR personally; I wouldn't even say we're acquainted in any substantial way save that, when I posted the first six poems I wrote for Browns and Rust on AMV, I contacted him and he was generous enough to email back, to comment on the post, and to ask if he could post one of the poems on his Insider Pages blog. Since I'm such a huge fan of his work (the first time I saw Cherubim and a Flaming Sword I knew I had to respond to him in some way beyond expository prose; hence the poems)...more flattery.
Okay, Michaela and Brillig: color me ashamed for lack of proper research and cover my ignorance with fig leaves. Thanks for catching my figgy virgin faux pas. I didn't realize figs weren't so juicy, but I need figs to work here because of what they represent: 1) fertility and reproduction and 2) God's covenant people (source), all things that are taken into account in this response to J. Kirk Richards painting.
ReplyDeleteI went to bed with both of these ideas in mind---that figs aren't really that juicy and figgy symbolism---and had an epiphany, which is reflected in the change I made this morning to the line in question, which now reads "like juice pressed from a thousand figs" instead of "like the juice from a thousand figs." I hope that sufficiently takes into account the physics of figs. If not, please speak up or forever hold your newtons...and make a certain poet look ignorant.
And BTW thanks for the feedback: these are the kinds of things I like to know (that is, where my language or imagery isn't working) when I post poems here.
Now color me appreciative.
Oh, and there's also this.
ReplyDelete.
ReplyDeleteLuisa---
You should really read Tyler's preEliot poetry. Of course, it relies more heavily on properly arranged rhymes and trochees, but it doesn't have any poorly researched fruit metaphors.
Really, meeting Eliot was the worst thing that ever could have happened to Tyler IMHO. And not just because of the changes to his poetry. Since then he has stopped looking like this and started dying and parting his hair and wearing glasses and looking like this. You'll notice it didn't it didn't do much for his attitude either. Or his ability to stay within a single dimension.