Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Enduring (Svithe)

Sometimes I wonder what I'm still doing in school. Sometimes I just want to walk away. I've got a master's degree in English. Shouldn't that be enough to get me where I want to go?

Then I remember two things:

1) When I decided to pursue a PhD, my Grandpa Chadwick told me it would be well worth it. He also told me that there were times when he was working toward his (in botany) that he just wanted to throw in the towel, but Grandma wouldn't let him. So he kept going and I don't think he regretted one minute of his long teaching career at Weber State College.

So I keep pressing forward, in part, to honor Grandpa's memory and for my family (especially the wife: she's put up with more than her share of me since I finally decided on a vocational path and started the long journey toward a doctorate).

2) I've also returned to Ammon's words over the past few days when I've really started to wonder what I'm working toward:

Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us, and said: Go amongst thy brethren, the Lamanites, and bear with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success. (Alma 26:27)

And ten years of higher education really is a test of will, for the student and his family.

And so I keep plugging along, hopeful that someday the sacrifices we've made will pay off and I'll be able to get to that school by the ocean in fulfillment of the promise my wife made me make to her when we started this process.

Someday, dear Wife, someday.

Until then, just keep me from pansying out...