This is an attempt to imitate the tone of William Carlos Williams. I'm still tinkering with the order and some of the wording. It may actually not get much farther than this, but I thought the imitation was worth a try.
So Much Depends
(After William Carlos Williams)
1
For one little girl
so much depends
upon this red
tricycle
with white-walled
wheels and white pedals
and rainwater
puddled in the seat.
2
Such little use
has been made
of this gray
wheelbarrow
upturned
in the corner
against the crumbling
concrete wall.
3
At sunset, the man
cuts lines
in the grass with his
red lawnmower—so
little depends upon
these lines, so much
upon the man.
4
So much once
depended
upon this red
apple cellar
covered
in brush, high
on their land.
5
So much depends upon
this long white hall
from the retirement home
lobby
to the far corner room
where the old man
slept alone.
I remember being strongly influenced by the poem on which this is based the only time I read it, which was in high school. I have several times wanted to read it again, but couldn't remember the title or author. I don't know about the wording and structure and all of those things about it, but you seem to have captured its essence, as I recall it.
ReplyDeleteAt the very least, your poem connects with me in the same way that the other one did, for whatever that's worth.
If you follow my William Carlos Williams link, you'll find the original poem, "The Red Wheelbarrow."
ReplyDeleteIs the red cellar based on the apple cellar on Grandma and Grandpa's hill? That's what I thought of. I have never read the poem, though.
ReplyDelete