I just posted a grouping of poems at A Motley Vision, the first six in a collection I've been working on since the beginning of the year titled Browns and Rusts: Meditations on J. Kirk Richards.
Come take a look, if you feel so inclined.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Jacob, Poet-Seer (Svithe)
As promised, here's something from Jacob, Nephi's younger, more poetic brother:
Come, every one that thirsteth, come ye
to the waters; and he that hath no money,
come buy and eat; yea, come buy wine and milk
without money and without price. Wherefore,
do not spend money for that which is of no worth,
nor your labor for that which cannot
satisfy. Hearken diligently unto me, and
remember the words which I have spoken;
and come unto the Holy One of Israel,
and feast upon that which perisheth not,
neither can be corrupted,
and let your soul delight in fatness. (2 Nephi 9:50-51)
Friend Me?
When the "People You May Know" tab comes up on my Facebook homepage, I can't help but spend some time looking through the list. It's like they've got some digital hold on me and if I don't "Friend" everyone I know or might know, my network of living cells will actually turn to dust.
When did I become so darn pathetic?
When did I become so darn pathetic?
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Amy's Coming of Age: Eileen Kump's "The Willows"
Over at AMV, William's instituted "Short Story Friday." Yesterday, he posted a link to Eileen Kump's "The Willows," a poignant story of coming of age during the tail-end of Mormonism's polygamy era. This is what I posted there in response to the story:
* * * * *
I was struck by this story, by the subtlety of Kump’s voice, and this poignancy caught me off guard, so much so that I began taking notes profusely while I was reading so I could make sense of what was happening to Amy as the story progressed, what was happening to me as I read. Suffice it to say, Amy helped me to see our cultural struggle with the vestiges of polygamy in a new light and, as a result of our intersection, our connection, I’ve been, in a sense, reborn with her into the world of ambiguity and paradox.
In one sense, that’s how I read this story: as a coming of age tale told in Amy’s indirect voice (as mediated by the narrator). While this structure and style allow meaning to unfold as the story progresses, they also hold us at a distance from meaning and from Amy’s experience and we’re left to assimilate what’s happening in this community, in the characters’ lives through the confused and maturing---indeed, confused because maturing---eyes of an eight-year old girl.
The turning point in the story, for me and, I think, for Amy, comes when she wades into the “sea of green willows” on a quest for her mother and finds her sitting “among the thickest willows” with a group of “many” other women, a reflection of the matriarchal structure and strength that keeps this community alive. Yet, as Amy falls into her mother’s lap, this worried and confused little girl sees something in her mother, and by extension, in her community she’s never seen before: violence and fear. This image is characterized by her mother’s disheveled face, framed by “strands” of “loose” hair “that looked to Amy like fists” and by the way mother lays her hands on daughter, holding tighter than ever before---“too tight,” Amy says---though I suspect this grasp turns quickly from anger to fear as the mother wonders if her family will be compromised by her daughter’s foolishness, by the young girl’s longing to be safe in her mother’s arms.
At this moment of realization and at her mother’s insistent question (“How old are you, Amy?”) Amy is forced to admit and to begin to accept her place in this threatened and rapidly changing community. And she falls from her state of innocence and must leave this thick garden, the paradise of her mother’s lap, the safety of this womb, the seat of life, and return alone to the dreary outside world. No longer will she find refuge in her mother’s arms; she must now ultimately stand alone against the threat of uncertainty.
Amy’s coming of age, her passage into this fully adult world of paradox, comes through her participation in the proper rituals: her baptism, by tears (hers and the other women’s), occurs in the sea of willows; she participates in a sacrament of “bread and milk” overseen by her mother; and she’s confirmed by fire in her father’s arms at the kitchen hearth (69-70). And the next morning when she awakens to the empty world of her childhood, she essentially realizes that she’s been initiated into this group’s sub-community of priestesses, a role in which she’ll be forced to face the blurring lines of her life, the ambiguities of life in a community, uncertainties characterized by her use of the word “damn" (the keyword that opens this world to her), something she condemns earlier in the story, and her changing perception of McGary.
As the warden appears in the story’s final scene, he is an indistinct shadow in the doorway; yet, as he moves toward Amy, coming into focus, into the light, she sees that his “face [is] not as dark” (71): he has become more real, more human, less indistinct, less obscure. And yet, Amy concludes, “He had to be” a gentile. Had to be in order for the world of her childhood to make sense. Had to be in order for the easy distinctions between self and other to remain. But as the story concludes, these distinctions are absorbed in the willow-like image of Amy “arch[ing] her back against the porch and wait[ing]” (71), waiting for McGary’s approach, for McGary’s words, for the caress of his language to bridge the world of her childhood with the woman she knows she must become in a richly ambiguous world where willows can represent the connection between heaven and earth; where they are at once a symbol of comfort and safety and a place of concealment, fear, and the secrets we are sometimes forced to protect in order to preserve the integrity of our community---all things that connect us to our deepest selves, to others, to God.
* * * * *
I was struck by this story, by the subtlety of Kump’s voice, and this poignancy caught me off guard, so much so that I began taking notes profusely while I was reading so I could make sense of what was happening to Amy as the story progressed, what was happening to me as I read. Suffice it to say, Amy helped me to see our cultural struggle with the vestiges of polygamy in a new light and, as a result of our intersection, our connection, I’ve been, in a sense, reborn with her into the world of ambiguity and paradox.
In one sense, that’s how I read this story: as a coming of age tale told in Amy’s indirect voice (as mediated by the narrator). While this structure and style allow meaning to unfold as the story progresses, they also hold us at a distance from meaning and from Amy’s experience and we’re left to assimilate what’s happening in this community, in the characters’ lives through the confused and maturing---indeed, confused because maturing---eyes of an eight-year old girl.
The turning point in the story, for me and, I think, for Amy, comes when she wades into the “sea of green willows” on a quest for her mother and finds her sitting “among the thickest willows” with a group of “many” other women, a reflection of the matriarchal structure and strength that keeps this community alive. Yet, as Amy falls into her mother’s lap, this worried and confused little girl sees something in her mother, and by extension, in her community she’s never seen before: violence and fear. This image is characterized by her mother’s disheveled face, framed by “strands” of “loose” hair “that looked to Amy like fists” and by the way mother lays her hands on daughter, holding tighter than ever before---“too tight,” Amy says---though I suspect this grasp turns quickly from anger to fear as the mother wonders if her family will be compromised by her daughter’s foolishness, by the young girl’s longing to be safe in her mother’s arms.
At this moment of realization and at her mother’s insistent question (“How old are you, Amy?”) Amy is forced to admit and to begin to accept her place in this threatened and rapidly changing community. And she falls from her state of innocence and must leave this thick garden, the paradise of her mother’s lap, the safety of this womb, the seat of life, and return alone to the dreary outside world. No longer will she find refuge in her mother’s arms; she must now ultimately stand alone against the threat of uncertainty.
Amy’s coming of age, her passage into this fully adult world of paradox, comes through her participation in the proper rituals: her baptism, by tears (hers and the other women’s), occurs in the sea of willows; she participates in a sacrament of “bread and milk” overseen by her mother; and she’s confirmed by fire in her father’s arms at the kitchen hearth (69-70). And the next morning when she awakens to the empty world of her childhood, she essentially realizes that she’s been initiated into this group’s sub-community of priestesses, a role in which she’ll be forced to face the blurring lines of her life, the ambiguities of life in a community, uncertainties characterized by her use of the word “damn" (the keyword that opens this world to her), something she condemns earlier in the story, and her changing perception of McGary.
As the warden appears in the story’s final scene, he is an indistinct shadow in the doorway; yet, as he moves toward Amy, coming into focus, into the light, she sees that his “face [is] not as dark” (71): he has become more real, more human, less indistinct, less obscure. And yet, Amy concludes, “He had to be” a gentile. Had to be in order for the world of her childhood to make sense. Had to be in order for the easy distinctions between self and other to remain. But as the story concludes, these distinctions are absorbed in the willow-like image of Amy “arch[ing] her back against the porch and wait[ing]” (71), waiting for McGary’s approach, for McGary’s words, for the caress of his language to bridge the world of her childhood with the woman she knows she must become in a richly ambiguous world where willows can represent the connection between heaven and earth; where they are at once a symbol of comfort and safety and a place of concealment, fear, and the secrets we are sometimes forced to protect in order to preserve the integrity of our community---all things that connect us to our deepest selves, to others, to God.
Friday, February 20, 2009
BBC's Canon
I just "stole" this list from my cousin's Facebook notes (thanks Patti).
Apparently the BBC reckons most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here. Interesting how many come from the Western literary tradition, but what do you expect from the BBC?
* * * *
1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen.....started it
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien.....read it and seen the movies (extended versions)---double points!
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte.....might read it
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling.....on book 4, plus I've seen the movies---points and a half!
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee.....read it
6 The Bible.....read it
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte.....read it
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens......started it---Pip, Pip, hooray!
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott.....have three of them in my house
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller.....think I've read it
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare.....read some of them
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier.....I once knew a Becky
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien.....it's on my bookshelf, waiting for me
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell....."Frankly, my dear, I don't give a..."
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky.....started it
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck.....read it
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll.....seen the movie
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame.....I've heard wind in the willows and picked up willow branches broken in the wind
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis.....read The Magician's Nephew and started The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
34 Emma - Jane Austen.....halfway through
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen.....my wife's reading it; does that count?
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis.....is this not included in #33?
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden.....seen the movie
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne.....seen the cartoon
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell.....it's on my bookshelf
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown.....seen the movie
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez.....wow, really? That's a long time to be alone
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving....nope, but I've read Yeats' poem, "A Prayer for My Daughter"
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery.....seen some of the show on PBS (does that make me weird?)
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy.....you'll find me right in the middle
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood.....nope; but I've read "The Little Red Hen Tells All"; does that count?
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding.....started it
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel.....started it twice; I really should finish that
52 Dune - Frank Herbert.....I think I've read it; if not, I've seen the movie
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen.....I wonder if she stole that from this?
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon.....the wind has a shadow?
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens.....started it, but then again, who hasn't: "It was the best of times..."
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon.....I've experienced some of these
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck......read it (I think)
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov.....started it
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold.....I've seen a few episodes of "Bones"
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas.....read it
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac...."again; just can't wait to get on the road again"
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding.....seen some of the movie
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie.....sometimes they keep me awake
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville.....a big white whale from a dead white guy
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens.....seen the movie (animated and live action)
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker.....what, no Twilight?
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett.....seen the movie
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson.....Lost?
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola.....I've seen The Terminal
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray.....Isn't that a magazine?
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens.....seen a few versions of the movie
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell.....I like to chase clouds
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker.....is my wife's and daughter number one's favorite
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro.....what remains of day is night
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert.....read it
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry.....haven't found mine yet
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White.....read it
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom.....read it
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.....read a lot of them; doesn't House remind you of Sherlock, drug addiction and all?
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton.....I've got one in my backyard
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad.....will read this semester
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery.....I'm surrounded by little princesses
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks.....this wasp or this WASP
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole.....sounds like a fun place
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas.....eaten the candy bar
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare......is this not included in Shakespeare's Complete Works (#14)
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl.....read it and seen the movie
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo.....read it, seen the movie, and seen the play (on Broadway)
Apparently the BBC reckons most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here. Interesting how many come from the Western literary tradition, but what do you expect from the BBC?
* * * *
1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen.....started it
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien.....read it and seen the movies (extended versions)---double points!
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte.....might read it
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling.....on book 4, plus I've seen the movies---points and a half!
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee.....read it
6 The Bible.....read it
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte.....read it
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens......started it---Pip, Pip, hooray!
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott.....have three of them in my house
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller.....think I've read it
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare.....read some of them
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier.....I once knew a Becky
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien.....it's on my bookshelf, waiting for me
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell....."Frankly, my dear, I don't give a..."
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky.....started it
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck.....read it
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll.....seen the movie
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame.....I've heard wind in the willows and picked up willow branches broken in the wind
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis.....read The Magician's Nephew and started The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
34 Emma - Jane Austen.....halfway through
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen.....my wife's reading it; does that count?
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis.....is this not included in #33?
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden.....seen the movie
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne.....seen the cartoon
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell.....it's on my bookshelf
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown.....seen the movie
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez.....wow, really? That's a long time to be alone
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving....nope, but I've read Yeats' poem, "A Prayer for My Daughter"
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery.....seen some of the show on PBS (does that make me weird?)
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy.....you'll find me right in the middle
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood.....nope; but I've read "The Little Red Hen Tells All"; does that count?
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding.....started it
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel.....started it twice; I really should finish that
52 Dune - Frank Herbert.....I think I've read it; if not, I've seen the movie
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen.....I wonder if she stole that from this?
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon.....the wind has a shadow?
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens.....started it, but then again, who hasn't: "It was the best of times..."
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon.....I've experienced some of these
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck......read it (I think)
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov.....started it
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold.....I've seen a few episodes of "Bones"
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas.....read it
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac...."again; just can't wait to get on the road again"
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding.....seen some of the movie
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie.....sometimes they keep me awake
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville.....a big white whale from a dead white guy
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens.....seen the movie (animated and live action)
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker.....what, no Twilight?
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett.....seen the movie
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson.....Lost?
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola.....I've seen The Terminal
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray.....Isn't that a magazine?
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens.....seen a few versions of the movie
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell.....I like to chase clouds
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker.....is my wife's and daughter number one's favorite
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro.....what remains of day is night
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert.....read it
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry.....haven't found mine yet
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White.....read it
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom.....read it
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.....read a lot of them; doesn't House remind you of Sherlock, drug addiction and all?
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton.....I've got one in my backyard
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad.....will read this semester
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery.....I'm surrounded by little princesses
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks.....this wasp or this WASP
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole.....sounds like a fun place
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas.....eaten the candy bar
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare......is this not included in Shakespeare's Complete Works (#14)
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl.....read it and seen the movie
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo.....read it, seen the movie, and seen the play (on Broadway)
Since I'm Up...
...doing homework, I figure I should post something interesting (or not) before diving into dreamville. So here goes *pages shuffling as Tyler opens The Language of the Night (1993 Harper Perennial Version) by Ursula K. Le Guin to a random page*:
So here's to meeting dead writers with non-shifty eyes and non-funny shoes or at least a thing for breeding Herefordshire cows.
Or something.
Anyway, meeting writers is always so disappointing. I got over wanting to meet live writers quite a long time ago. There is this terrific book that has changed your life, and then you meet the author, and he has shifty eyes and funny shoes and he won't talk about anything except the injustice of the United States income tax structure toward people with fluctuating income, or how to breed Black Angus cows, or something. (195)
So here's to meeting dead writers with non-shifty eyes and non-funny shoes or at least a thing for breeding Herefordshire cows.
Or something.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
See: Even Nephi was a Poet (Svithe)
(...though I'm somewhat partial to Jacob. More from him next week.)
And amen.
[M]y soul delighteth in the scriptures,
and my heart pondereth them, and writeth them
for the learning and the profit of my children.
Behold, my soul delighteth in the things of the Lord;
and my heart pondereth continually
upon the things which I have seen and heard.
Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord,
in showing me his great and marvelous works,
my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea,
my heart sorroweth because of my flesh;
my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.
I am encompassed about,
because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.
And when I desire to rejoice, my heart
groaneth because of my sins.
Nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.
My God hath been my support; he hath led me
through mine afflictions in the wilderness;
and he hath preserved me
upon the waters of the great deep.
He hath filled me with his love,
even unto the consuming of my flesh.
He hath confounded mine enemies,
unto the causing of them to quake before me.
Behold, he hath heard my cry by day,
and he hath given me knowledge by visions in the nighttime.
And by day have I waxed bold in mighty prayer before him;
yea, my voice have I sent up on high;
and angels came down and ministered unto me.
And upon the wings of his Spirit
hath my body been carried away
upon exceedingly high mountains.
And mine eyes have beheld great things, yea,
even too great for man;
therefore I was bidden that I should not write them.
O then, if I have seen so great things,
if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men
hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep
and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow,
and my flesh waste away,
and my strength slacken,
because of mine afflictions?
And why should I yield to sin,
because of my flesh?
Yea, why should I give way to temptations,
that the evil one have place in my heart
to destroy my peace and afflict my soul?
Why am I angry because of mine enemy?
Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice,
O my heart, and give place no more
for the enemy of my soul. Do not anger again
because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength
because of mine afflictions.
Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord,
and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever;
yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God,
and the rock of my salvation.
O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou
deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies?
Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin?
May the gates of hell be shut continually
before me, because that my heart is broken
and my spirit is contrite! O Lord,
wilt thou not shut the gates of thy righteousness before me,
that I may walk in the path of the low valley,
that I may be strict in the plain road!
O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around
in the robe of thy righteousness! O Lord,
wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine enemies!
Wilt thou make my path straight before me!
Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way--
but that thou wouldst clear my way before me,
and hedge not up my way, but the ways of mine enemy.
O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee
forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh;
for I know that cursed is he
that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed
is he that putteth his trust in man
or maketh flesh his arm.
Yea, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh.
Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore
I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry
unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness.
Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee,
my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen. (2 Nephi 4:15-35)
And amen.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Things Fall Apart, Redux
So last night, daughter number three refused to sleep. As it turns out, she's got her first year molars coming in, so I don't blame her for being ornery until about 5:30 this morning; but we didn't figure that out until just a few minutes ago when she tried to bite my finger. If we'd known earlier, we could have doped her up to make her sleep.
Alas.
Now I'm running on just a few hours of inconstant sleep (if that) because, in addition to the one-year old that kept kicking around our bed, I dreamed in Web 2.0 about the inexpensive (read: as free as it can get) possibilities of creating a Mormon poetry e-zine. That kept me from getting anywhere near REM, especially since I kept getting jolted awake by number three's feet, fists, and jibber-jabber and by moments of clarity about my writing projects, though the ideas don't seem so clear this side of morning.
And to top that off, daughter number one didn't want to go to school because she wanted to do what she wanted to do: watch the Disney Channel(s) from dawn to dusk. After stifling her screams of distress by revoking her TV privileges, I finally dragged her to school, where I really hope she was an angel. Because if not...
Oh, and it's my wife and daughter number two's birthday today. So Happy Birthday wife and daughter number two.
I hope your day ends better than mine began.
Alas.
Now I'm running on just a few hours of inconstant sleep (if that) because, in addition to the one-year old that kept kicking around our bed, I dreamed in Web 2.0 about the inexpensive (read: as free as it can get) possibilities of creating a Mormon poetry e-zine. That kept me from getting anywhere near REM, especially since I kept getting jolted awake by number three's feet, fists, and jibber-jabber and by moments of clarity about my writing projects, though the ideas don't seem so clear this side of morning.
And to top that off, daughter number one didn't want to go to school because she wanted to do what she wanted to do: watch the Disney Channel(s) from dawn to dusk. After stifling her screams of distress by revoking her TV privileges, I finally dragged her to school, where I really hope she was an angel. Because if not...
Oh, and it's my wife and daughter number two's birthday today. So Happy Birthday wife and daughter number two.
I hope your day ends better than mine began.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Rededicating myself, again and again (Svithe)
A few weeks ago, I remembered something Marion G. Romney said (okay, so I don't remember him saying it, but I remember reading it):
Some days I get my time in; some days I don't. But I try to give myself a quality scripture experience every day so I don't wander too far astray. Because heaven knows: in my line of work, apostasy (and eccentricity) is a very real possibility.
And I really don't want to go there.
So I'm trying to cultivate my love for the Book of Mormon (and those other books too), especially because that's where my passion for language really began. Can't turn my back on it now...
A few years ago as I began to practice law, members of my family were a little uneasy. They were afraid I would lose my faith. I wanted to practice law, but I had an even greater desire to keep my testimony, and so I decided upon a little procedure which I recommend to you. For thirty minutes each morning before I began the day’s work I read from the Book of Mormon [...] and in just a few minutes a day I read the Book of Mormon through, every year, for nine years. I know that it kept me in harmony, so far as I did keep in harmony, with the Spirit of the Lord. [...]
It will hold us as close to the Spirit of the Lord as anything I know. (In Conference Report, Apr. 1949, p. 36.)
Some days I get my time in; some days I don't. But I try to give myself a quality scripture experience every day so I don't wander too far astray. Because heaven knows: in my line of work, apostasy (and eccentricity) is a very real possibility.
And I really don't want to go there.
So I'm trying to cultivate my love for the Book of Mormon (and those other books too), especially because that's where my passion for language really began. Can't turn my back on it now...
Friday, February 6, 2009
For the Man in the Red Jacket (Poem)
Last June I had a run in with this dude in a red jacket when I was running. It wasn't anything tragic; just more comical, I think, than anything, but the question he threw at me as I ran past him had me thinking for days, so much so that I tried to capture the moment in a poem.
What follows is the scene's most recent iteration. I'm fairly pleased with it, though I'm still unsure about the ending. Some feedback in that regard would be helpful.
Fire away.
* * * *
For the Man in the Red Jacket
...the waters are come in...
--Psalm 69:1
His word, more than his face, remains,
trailing me as the rain that stuck
to my glasses and soaked my clothes,
seeping through
my windows, my façade into
the crawlspace of my memory.
I see now he was serious: as we’d
passed on the street, each moving
the other way, he’d pulled off
his red jacket hood and tried
to make eye contact. Have you
necessarily taken the time,
he’d asked, to find out
what grace is for? Reluctant
to break the rhythm of my run,
I’d turned just enough to see him
in my periphery, standing alone
on the corner as the rain started,
and said nothing. If he’d asked for money
or the time, I might have slowed, at least
to tell him I didn’t have any or
It’s six twenty-two. But grace, I
remember thinking. Get serious, brother,
and out of the rain. It’s early. I’m
running. We’re about to be wet
and our garments as heavy as Genesis.
Of course I’ve made time for grace.
What follows is the scene's most recent iteration. I'm fairly pleased with it, though I'm still unsure about the ending. Some feedback in that regard would be helpful.
Fire away.
* * * *
For the Man in the Red Jacket
...the waters are come in...
--Psalm 69:1
His word, more than his face, remains,
trailing me as the rain that stuck
to my glasses and soaked my clothes,
seeping through
my windows, my façade into
the crawlspace of my memory.
I see now he was serious: as we’d
passed on the street, each moving
the other way, he’d pulled off
his red jacket hood and tried
to make eye contact. Have you
necessarily taken the time,
he’d asked, to find out
what grace is for? Reluctant
to break the rhythm of my run,
I’d turned just enough to see him
in my periphery, standing alone
on the corner as the rain started,
and said nothing. If he’d asked for money
or the time, I might have slowed, at least
to tell him I didn’t have any or
It’s six twenty-two. But grace, I
remember thinking. Get serious, brother,
and out of the rain. It’s early. I’m
running. We’re about to be wet
and our garments as heavy as Genesis.
Of course I’ve made time for grace.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Enduring (Svithe)
Sometimes I wonder what I'm still doing in school. Sometimes I just want to walk away. I've got a master's degree in English. Shouldn't that be enough to get me where I want to go?
Then I remember two things:
1) When I decided to pursue a PhD, my Grandpa Chadwick told me it would be well worth it. He also told me that there were times when he was working toward his (in botany) that he just wanted to throw in the towel, but Grandma wouldn't let him. So he kept going and I don't think he regretted one minute of his long teaching career at Weber State College.
So I keep pressing forward, in part, to honor Grandpa's memory and for my family (especially the wife: she's put up with more than her share of me since I finally decided on a vocational path and started the long journey toward a doctorate).
2) I've also returned to Ammon's words over the past few days when I've really started to wonder what I'm working toward:
And ten years of higher education really is a test of will, for the student and his family.
And so I keep plugging along, hopeful that someday the sacrifices we've made will pay off and I'll be able to get to that school by the ocean in fulfillment of the promise my wife made me make to her when we started this process.
Someday, dear Wife, someday.
Until then, just keep me from pansying out...
Then I remember two things:
1) When I decided to pursue a PhD, my Grandpa Chadwick told me it would be well worth it. He also told me that there were times when he was working toward his (in botany) that he just wanted to throw in the towel, but Grandma wouldn't let him. So he kept going and I don't think he regretted one minute of his long teaching career at Weber State College.
So I keep pressing forward, in part, to honor Grandpa's memory and for my family (especially the wife: she's put up with more than her share of me since I finally decided on a vocational path and started the long journey toward a doctorate).
2) I've also returned to Ammon's words over the past few days when I've really started to wonder what I'm working toward:
Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us, and said: Go amongst thy brethren, the Lamanites, and bear with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success. (Alma 26:27)
And ten years of higher education really is a test of will, for the student and his family.
And so I keep plugging along, hopeful that someday the sacrifices we've made will pay off and I'll be able to get to that school by the ocean in fulfillment of the promise my wife made me make to her when we started this process.
Someday, dear Wife, someday.
Until then, just keep me from pansying out...
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